another day =(

My life’s now a mess!!!!I’ll try to get up as I always had but my legs are now weak, it makes me mad.I am super duper depressed right now.My mentally is strong, but emotionally weak.What should i do.I try so hard to crack those thing outta my head but end up,nothing ever changes.I am silly, I thought everything will be just fine but I'm so Wrong,I hated,I hated,I hated.Now after this, you guys will probably see me as a freak.I am not whining or whatsoever. I just think I should post something personal in the blog once in a while. It is more like a letter to myself.
I hated myself,I hated subang,I hated lied.I hated everything that makes me feel discouraged.Yes, I am a compulsive liar. I lied. It's not a habit, it's a freaking problem.Sorry for being a liar,especially for my beloved grandma and dad.If u were my closed friends,u'll know about it.But I am here to tell u guys that i will never ever talk about this anymore,am no revealing!!!!Its my own secret and I'm still struggling.How to survive you tell me how to survive with this situation. Urghh!I wish i could turn back the time.But i don't believe in miracles at this fucking moment.I am gradually lost my self-confidence.Please come back to me,i beg u.i beg u.i beg u.

what a bad day

Oh god,I’m dead tired.And I’m having a pulsating headache.diu diu diu diu diu!!!!( Means Fuck many times in Cantonese )
Sorry for being this rude,I'm trying another way to calm down.Such a bad day for me,Mistakes mistakes mistakes.Careless mistakes.Anxiety is taking over me now,I really need to be more careful when I work tomorrow. For your information,I work as a Acer engineer now.Guess what?I'm the only girl who repair for the both netbook and notebook in my office.All the others colleague was male.Frankly tell you guys that I'm not interest at all at this moment!!!!!!!!!!!!I did try my best to control my emotions today but in the end,things getting worse."Koey Lim,you can do it.Its time to prove to those bitchy ass which look down on you that they are so WRONG!!!!"I won't surrender easily!!!!
Showing you guys some pictures!!

Acer aspire 4935,the most common notebook in Highpoint services Network Sdn Bhd

Lower case

Ram

Motherboard which i hated the most

Lcd and bracket

Thermal module

There are still some others little part like battery,keyboard,speaker,touchpad,DVD,hardisk,media board,usb board...
Tsk Tsk,This is what i gotta face everyday =S Poor me
I am a Girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dont blame me,pls

Felt extremely guilty now,sorry!!!!!!I hope u guys wont blame me for what I've done.
I bet u guys will never understand my feeling right now...
SORRY
Its so hard to let go,I am still stubbornly to show the real me...


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W.O.R.K

Hey guys,have you lost the love and passion for your job???
I've lost my passion for work lately.I used to be so passionate about my job, its fun and challenging...But now i think i am stuck in a boring work that isolates me from the world,from the family,and from the one i love.
facing a lot of problems everyday!!!!I'm tired. Not physically, I get enough sleep. But mentally, or spiritually.And i dunno how to get over it, I'm tired!!!!!!!!
Damn it,why being mentally tired is worse than physical tiredness?And how to avoid sleepy during work hours?know what,I went to toilet regularly and try to calm myself down,but then its still the same!!!Nothing changes!!!SHIT


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shit happens

Ow,the internet connection in my room was pretty sucky,although it has been fixed but its still the same...And know what,I’m having bad sore throat now,this is so frustrating.And its such a bitch,just so unpredictable.
Maybe i eat a lot of fast food these days,Mcd for my lunch and KFC for dinner,Its ok for one day,but its for almost one week!!!LOL
I've told myself no more spicy food,no more oily food,fried food,etc...and I am trying very hard and my best to control myself.
BUT,I failed damn badly.I ate 4 fried spicy chicken for my dinner yesterday!!!Ugh whatever la,eat then eat la,die then die la...so what i gotta do is just accept the fact now =(

IAMVERYFUCKINGMOODYNOW.

I lost passion to go to work,My friend always reminds me "Koey,do not let your emotions and feelings take over and control what you do,You’ll come through this,just take it as an experience in life." Yea, i know,but hey I'm a human!!I just can't help it...I genuinely misses you lots.

Life

I wish to travel to a lot of country in this years...but something had changed...i wonder should i go to japan in this coming December?Loh Wei Cheng,which is my NS buddy,staying in Japan currently...He is the one who make me feeling to go there...he show me some pictures of his life there,and tell me all his story which happened in Japan...and he promise me to provide place for me to sleep when i am there...but bro,i still need some time to consider about it...
A lot of things happened these days,all my friends live happily with their life now,but me?I am still the same,staying far away from my family and facing a lot of problems everyday,I hope there's someone for me to talk to...I still remember that someone had told me this "people will forget what u said,people will forget what u did,but people will never forget how u make them feel" yea,its true!!!I will never forget how the fucker make me feel...do you know that,It's a freaking felony to see others private document!!!and keep telling everyone that he is the smartest one!!!!!WTF,seeing this is unbearable for me,i wish to zam him 18 lok!!!But what to do?what i gotta do is face the truth and accept the fact,the fact that he is a pokai!!!!arrrrr,I cannot give up no matter how tough i get T.T
bless me please....

stop

I look into the mirror, and what do I see?I saw a girl staring back at me,she cant even look herself in the eyes,tears well up...
I couldn't take the world anymore,that's what I thought when I locked the door,the girl in the mirror, isn't me,at least not what I used to be...
the smile I used to wear, gone unnoticed, and disappeared...I wonder when they will come back to me...and the fears of the future are all in my head now,I'm trying to live in the present and refuse to mope...but i hate,i hate those fucker who think they're the smartest one,fuck you man...

Would you just listen?

Hey,would you just listen and please don't say a word, I'd like you to think back to the very first time we met,How you felt around me? The memories we shared,and just remember that once upon a time, you really cared.Now think about how we parted, and how much I cried...
But now I'd like you to know that my heart cure bit by bit.The pain was deep, unbearable and painful, for so many years,I'll never forget all the sadness, all the uncontrollable tears,slowly I am rebuilding my life, I am content with what I've got,and although it is hard I am beginning to forget what I have not.

You were a special part of my life that I will never forget, a part of my life that broke my heart, but that I don't regret, you gave me some happy memories that I'll keep in my heart,
Although sometimes I wish that you and I didn't have to part.You were my true love, that will always be so,after all of the heartache, sadness and never ending pain, I know,You and I had something special and that will never change, because I love you and loving someone else will always seem strange.

Would you just listen and please don't say a word, not ever,I'd like you to remember that once upon a time, we said forever,that I had hopes and dreams, that I was the one who threw them away,and this is something I will always regret until my dying day.